


PHAN Shorts

by Alois_Zirconia



Category: The Phandom
Genre: Don't you dare send them this, Fluff, M/M, OOC, Shorts, oneshots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-10 11:04:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5583424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alois_Zirconia/pseuds/Alois_Zirconia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, apparently, my fingers are aching for some Phan. I thought it was a one-time thing, but it's not. In honor of my iPad warning me that my storage was full because of all the fics I've written, here's a series entirely dedicated to Phan!</p><p>Please check chapter notes for trigger warnings, and be aware that these pieces are in no way a representation of reality. Act accordingly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Kinda shitty, tbh.

"Maybe we're just not meant to be together as a couple," Phil eventually said, his voice devoid of emotion.

"Don't say that," Dan reassured, sliding his laptop off him to crawl over to where Phil was sitting. He abandoned his tumblr-scrolling in favor of straddling him and smoothing his thumbs over Phil's cheekbones, while softly kissing his nose. "Please don't," Dan repeated, looking desperately into his eyes while he pressed his fingers into the sides of Phil's face.

"I understand that it's been hard the last month, and I-" he started, but was interrupted. "No!" Phil shouted, as Dan blanched. It was almost so he slunk off the couch, his spark dimming. "It- It's not like that," Phil said, desperately trying to explain, while also keeping Dan seated. "It's just, for a while now you haven't been talking to me."

Dan frowned. "What? You know I wouldn't ignore you," he reasoned, sliding off his lap. "Maybe you're just feeling-" "I know I'm not imagining it!" Phil insisted, talking over him. "Why won't you believe me?" He said, looking over at Dan, who hesitated. "Well, I- I just kinda thought that, you know-" he stuttered, fumbling with his hands. "What? What did you think, Dan?!" Phil pressed out, raising his voice.

"I thought you were regretting it!" Dan abruptly shouted, tears brimming in his eyes. "I thought you regretted that we came out, so I just-" "Why would you think that?!" Phil shouted back. "I don't know! Stop shouting at me!" Dan cried, his voice raising to an embarrassingly girly shriek at the end. 

Phil stared at him, dumbfounded. "I don't- I didn't-" he mumbled, and Dan started sobbing. For a while, Phil stood there, his jaw hanging open as Dan covered his face with his hands. "Okay, Bear," he said, shuffling over to where Dan had moved to the other end of the couch.

"It's just been a little stressful, and I think we've both forgotten about each other a bit." He reassured Dan, sliding his arms up and down over Dan's arms. He tucked his leg under one of Dan's, and shuffled closer. Phil pulled his back to chest against him, resting his chin on Dan's head.

"Dan-bear," he mumbled into his fringe. "Come on, babe." Dan hiccuped, burying his face against Phil's chest. He just kept stroking his arms, saying nothing as he felt Dan's tears soaking through his t-shirt. "I- I just," Dan interrupted himself, and brought up one hand to tug his fringe over his face. It was red and splotchy, and soaked to the brim with tears.

"Take your time," Phil whispered, rubbing his cheek gently against the top of Dan's head. Dan hiccuped again. "Fuck, get me some paper. I'm soaking your shirt with slime," he said, and Phil giggled.

Overall, the day could have been worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a serious problem when it comes to my desire to smooth my thumbs over Phil's everything.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of cutting and suicide, along with rape, underage sex, and eating disorders. That's all, I think? Erratic and disturbing.

"I could show you, you know." 

His fingers are playing with a razor blade, twisting it, only just sliding over the edge unharmed. His suit is wrinkled and spotted red, with something white staining his hands and face. Phil likes to think he doesn't know what it is when the man brings up his fingers and licks some of the white stuff off.

Phil is a liar.

Phil lies when he says he's had lunch, he lies when he says he isn't worrying, and most of all, he lies when he says he loves Dan Howell. He isn't quite sure that he does anymore. Things used to be all right, but it's a bit hard to keep up a relationship when your partner denies ever loving you. Phil's not sure if he means it, or if he doesn't. Dan's sending him mixed signals.

Dan's also a liar, by the way. He lies when he says that he saw Phil eat lunch, he lies when he tells his fans that they're just friends, and he lies when he tells them he's two months clean. In reality, the scratching of his jumper against his half-healed scars is as annoying as the person he's talking to, and he'd mostly like to punch them in the face, and rip off the scabs on his arms.

"Show me what?"

The man looks up, smirking. "Now, now, Phillip." He says, picking up another razor blade. "You know not to do that." The razor blade twists itself between his fingers, never harming them, yet never gliding without resistance. "I could show you every time he does it," he says.

"Does what?" Phil asks. The man stands up and slaps him harshly, and the razor blades in his hands aren't quite as reluctant to cut him. "You're a liar, Lester," he taunts, and puts down the two bloodied razor blades. In their place he picks up three gleaming new blades, and starts juggling them. One would think razor blades weren't capable of being juggled, but they would be wrong.

"Haven't you thought of forcing Dan to let you watch him cut?" Before Phil can try to reply over the pain in his cheek, he talks on. "Of course you have, dearie. You've thought of holding him down and forcing him to stop cutting and then raping him," he spits. "And when he asked you what you were thinking about you said it was nothing."

"I see your façade, Phillip." He sits down again, and spins his office chair. "I see what's under it, and I see the things you dream of doing." Phil gulps, pushing himself into the back of his armchair. "A twenty one year old talking to a man with a four and a half years age difference." He sighs, leaning back in the office chair, and looks up at the ceiling.

"He's lucky you never acted on your dreams, considering he would have committed suicide two years ago," he whispers, barely loud enough to be heard by Phil, who's sitting in front of his desk. The man sits up, licking some white drops of-- licking something off his thumb, and looking through a drawer. 

He seems to find what he's looking for, and clenches his hand in a fist around the small object. Standing up, he walks slowly over to Phil's chair, and stands behind it. The man leans over the back of Phil's chair, and saturates his mouth next to Phil's ear, so he can't possibly miss anything he says.

"You're a mean one, Mr. Lester," he wheezes. "But I'll trade you a deal." Phil sits petrified, looking straight ahead as the man's breath hits his ear. "You've been very dishonest to Daniel," and then he mutters something that could be 'Not that he isn't,' "and I think it's best to come clean." Again, there's a 'Not that he is.' 

"Look, when you wake up, you go straight to him. He'll be in the bathtub," he chuckles. "I'll give you this-" he whispers, and shows him a brown, one-eyed button, "-and you'll swallow it after you tell him about every time you lied to his face," he hisses. "Then you'll wake up again here with me, and I'll show you every single time he's cut. With narrative, of course," he adds. "Deal?"

Phil nods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See what I was talking about? Somehow all my villains seem erratic and all-knowing. *SIIGGGHHH*


	3. Dan From The Future Pt. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh
> 
> this sucks but Dead! is the shit man
> 
> Oh, and also - Important Hint: AU where bandwidth isn't a thing and where he did the 12 Year Old Dan's Website vid.. 'a while' later

After finishing his react video and turning his camera off, Dan turned his attention to the screen, where a message was displayed.

**nice website loser might wanna look up this thing called a dictionary and google some friends have fun with your llama songs and flash games you nerd guess what ur not gonna have any friends when you're old either**

Dan snorted, and clicked send. He stood up from his chair, stretched a bit, and started walking towards the lounge. “Phil? Have you-“

_Ding!_

Dan frowned. “The fuck?”

He turned around and walked a couple steps back. There, on the screen, was a reply to his message. It had been a while, but he recognized a reply when he saw one, and that was definitely one. Frowning even further, he walked back to his desk and leaned over it to look closer at the screen.

**who are you chav do you think your some future witch or something ahaha**

His cheek itched, so he scratched absently at it, all the while rereading the message a couple times. Was this some sort of glitch, or an automatic response he'd set up years ago, but forgotten about? The glitch theory was unlikely, and it was too specific to be an automatic response. Dan’s eyes slipped up to his comment.

**“ur not gonna have any friends when you're old either”**

**“some future witch or something”**

“Future witch?” Dan mumbled under his breath. “Like, a Seer, or something?”

“Yeah?”

Dan let out a startled squeak, and spun around. Phil looked expectantly at him. “You called, Your Highness?” He asked playfully. Dan laughed nervously. “Oh, Phil!” The man in question raised an eyebrow. “I was just…” He gesticulated with his arms. “Y'know?”

Phil frowned. “No, I don't know. Dan, is something wrong?” Again, Dan just laughed it off. “It's nothing. Have you cooked dinner yet?” He asked, in a wild attempt to distract his roommate. “Well, I hadn't, but I was thinking-“

“That's great!” Dan exclaimed, taking hold of Phil's shoulders and steering him out of the room. “Thinking! Always a great activity!”

Phil shook his hands off, and turned around. “Dan, are you alright?”

He peeked over Dan's shoulder, looking at the screen facing him. “Like, _actually_ alright?”

Dan could tell Phil was just trying to be helpful, but this really wasn't the time. “Yeah,” he agreed amicably. “Just, uh.. Doing the usual thing. You know me, getting sucked into whatever I'm doing.”

“Then what did you call me for?” Phil asked, his frown looking quite sinister. “You just have called me for something.”

“Oh, it was nothing,” Dan said. “I've forgotten,” he added quickly when Phil opened his mouth to argue.

“Oh. Um.. Okay then,” Phil said, and finally let Dan steer him out. “Better get started on dinner!” Dan said, waving cheerfully at Phil before shutting the door in his face.

“It was your turn to make dinner!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i kinda wanna do pt. 2 from 12 yr old Dan's perspective but I've already started it with now-Dan and I suck at 12 yr old Dan


	4. Dan From The Future Pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is not in any way saying I know that Dan did any of this and he probably didn't it's idk

Dan sat down and scratched his cheek again. Twice. He frowned a bit at the screen, and after his fingers had hovered insecurely above the keyboard, he wrote a response.

**who are you?**

He clicked send. After a couple dozen seconds, a response appeared.

**uum read the damn headline smartass**

Dan's eyes flickered up to the top of the page.

**you’re Dan?**

There wasn't really another option, was there? After a couple seconds, the reply came. Christ, he was really waiting for those comments, weren't he?

**no shit sherlock**

Oh, okay. Rude. In all seriousness, though, who would play a prank like this? The girl who reminded him about the website? But how would she know he was there? Dan huffed. It didn't seem that unlikely that a Phandom member would hang out at the website, just waiting for him.

Dan's eyes flickered up to the ceiling. He didn't really know what to reply to that. He wanted to believe it, but that was just foolish. His old website wasn't a fricking time portal, for god’s sake.

Eventually, he just settled on something simple – simple, and very, very secret.. How well-versed was the imposter in unknown Dan-trivia?

**So what's the date at yours**

**what do u mean**

Dan rolled his eyes. Whomever this imposter was, they weren't very sharp.

**time differences**

**oh okay its the sixth**

**Of??**

**march? r u retarded**

Dan cringed at his offensiveness, but thought back. In about March, he must have been.. Dan gasped. No matter how coincidental it was, March would be the month he tried masturbating for the first time. He had it saved in his calendar from years ago, so he would know.

**And did you discover anything special this month**

**Why should I tell u**

Dan snorted. Oh, this was going to be great. If this actually, somehow was twelve-year-old Dan, he knew exactly how to lure him out of his so-called ‘shell’ – using the ultimate weapon.

**Are u scared**

He giggled.

**Fine I wanked**

Dan almost choked on his laughter as it burst out. Of course that, of all things, would work. Then a thought occurred to him. Did this mean it wasn't a coincidence? That he had somehow created a time-portal to his twelve-year-old self? Dan gulped.

Did this mean he could change the future?

He eyed the chat box for a couple of seconds, then put his hands to work. Surely it couldn't hurt to interfere just a bit? It would be for the better. Even though he knew he shouldn't, Dan pressed send.

**If you ever meet a guy with an obsession with lions, marry him.**

**bro wtf im not gay fyi i like vagina**

**Sure.**

He logged off.

“Dan, dinner’s ready!”

“Coming!”

“Lucas, you too!”

And from the second floor, much fainter:

“Coming, dad!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DONT YOU DARE RUIN MY PERFECT ENDING WITH AN INNUENDO


	5. Um, are those real? (The Beginning of Aurora, pt. 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, not in any way a representation of reality.
> 
> Don't be scared, come on in, this isn't angsty, I swear. It strictly wasn't meant to be, so you're doing some Hercules shit if you can find some. 
> 
> Phil doesn't like blueberry yogurt with the pieces mixed in. He'll only eat it when the yogurt's white and pure and the blueberries are from the freezer. It's a thing.
> 
> This onslaught of what-the-fuck-actually-this-is-badly-concealed-porn was inspired by my re-stumbling over this post: http://phantheraglama.tumblr.com/post/127382044896/howarcl-day-in-the-life-of-vampire-phil 
> 
> Also, surprisingly long.

  
Dan's on a _roll_ tonight.

"--So she starts freaking out, like me moving in with my best friend-" " _Vampire_ friend," Phil reminds him, opening a cup of yogurt. Dan ignores him. "-is the end of the freaking world or something, and she keeps spewing lots of shit about how this isn't healthy for me and stuff, and I just kinda-" Dan breaks off, phrasing it like a question.

He looks at Phil like he's expecting him to be absolutely scandalized, but in fact, Phil's very happy with his yogurt, and only lends half an ear to what Dan's saying. "Mmhmm," he agrees absentmindedly around a spoonful when the silence stretches on. Dan rolls his eyes.

"So I get like really pissed at her, and I tell the bitch that I've already signed the contract, and that it's my choice whether or not I want to _service_ someone," Dan rants, rolling his eyes at the word 'service'. "I tried explaining her that it was just a deal between friends, but she's so fucking paranoid, and then I told her we weren't living in the same city, and she-"

"Didn't your mum give you lots of shit about that?" Phil says, because he's heard this story at least four times. And that's right, Phil swears a bit when it's just the two of them. A bit. A lot.

Dan nods, a nonsensical humming sound signaling his agreement. "Yeah." Bitterly, he laughs. "Thought you'd kill me, or some crazy shit."

Phil nods. "Understandable." Dan sends him a weird look, and opens his mouth. "Understandable as in a mother's worry, or unde-"

"A mother's worry," Phil interrupts, stirring his yogurt. It has pieces of blueberry in it, not yet properly mixed in, and he stares hypnotized at the swirls of purple beginning to form as he drags the spoon though the plastic cup.

After a while, Dan looks up at him. He doesn't interrupt Phil's yogurt-stirring, and Phil doesn't signal in any way that he knows Dan's eyes have been flickering up to his mouth every couple seconds. Dan clears his throat, and the spoon stills.

"Could you show me them?"

Phil looks up to see Dan staring shrewdly at his lips. "Show what?" He says, taking notice of how Dan's eyes seem to sharpen when he speaks. Dan fiddles a bit with the blanket thrown over them on the couch.

"Your, uh.. Fangs," he says, letting it trail off into a half-question. Phil grunts, puts down his now wholeheartedly purple cup of flavorlessness, and sits up further. "My _canines_ ," he corrects, turning his body towards Dan. "Sure," Phil agrees.

He screws up his face slightly in concentration, turning it to the side. Dan looks on. Eventually Phil shakes his head. "Nah," he says, "Won't work. I'll need something to trigger me, like-"

Dan perks up. "Like this?" He asks, leaning forward and hugging Phil. It seems platonic, but they can both tell it isn't by the discreet way Dan's fragile wrists wrap around Phil's shoulders, and how his thigh presses into Phil's knee.

Phil takes a deep breath, taking in the aroma of old clothes, pomegranate shampoo and cocoa-scented body-gel. "Oh, um-" he stutters, and looks down at where Dan's pale neck is bared right underneath his chin. It bobs slightly when Dan swallows, and he can actually see the veins pulsing under his skin if he looks close enough. It feels like his teeth don't fit into his mouth anymore.

"Yeah, that'll do," he says hoarsely, pressing gently down on the tips of his canines with the tip of his tongue. They're a lot sharper now, and Phil knows by experience that if he presses down any harder, they'll pierce his tongue. "They're there," he repeats, because Dan's still clinging onto him like a koala bear.

Dan retreats quickly, like he's afraid of something. Phil frowns, and looks him over. It can't be the vampire thing, as he's one of those humans who don't really care in general. Dan's shaking a bit, and as his eyes trail over Dan's fragile wrists, he notices something else in that area. Phil inwardly checks on his body, and swears in his head. So much for being the observant one.

 _How_ exactly they both managed to get a hard-on by a hug, he doesn't know, but as the uncomfortable silence stretches on, he notices Dan's eyes flickering back to his lips. _Ah, right_. Phil clears his throat, looks pointedly away from the couch, and opens his mouth.

After a few moments, Dan can't resist, and shuffles closer meekly. He's always been awfully shy about intimate things, curious and crude as he may be, and Phil's suspects it has something to do with his upbringing. At moments like this, Phil just laughs it off, makes a joke, and moves on. Phil wonders just how much experience he actually has in that area.

He's distracted from his thoughts soon enough, as Dan stretches a trembling hand towards his face, and hovers so it's just barely touching Phil's lower lip. Phil places his hand on top of Dan's, holding it warmly against the curve of his face. "'S okay," he mutters, just barely loud enough to be heard. Dan nods.

Slowly - ever so slowly - he trails his hand toward Phil's mouth, looking lost in the moment. Sometimes, Phil thinks, it's really hard to tell what he's thinking. Dan stops with his entire palm covering Phil's lips, and he belatedly opens the mouth he hadn't even realized he'd closed.

 _Sorry_ , he wants to say, but Dan's just spotted his canines. His eyes light up, like they're just now remembering why Dan's doing this. His fingers suddenly become much more insistent, sliding gently into his mouth without touching anything wet there. They reach towards his teeth, and-

There. Finally, after a bit of awkwardness, Dan's touched his canines, even though they only agreed to let him see them. Phil's thoughts stutter to a halt. Dan's basically _fingering_ his mouth, hands all over his actual fucking _teeth_ , and it feels _good_.

Phil should be ashamed, he supposes, but he lets of the smallest and softest of moans when Dan puts pressure on his left canine. It's reminiscent of the pressure of flesh under them, and brings up images he'd rather forget. Dan doesn't seem to notice, anyhow, just keeps stroking it. It's surprisingly gentle.

When he decides to switch to the other, Phil willingly turns his head to the side to give him access to his right canine. There's a weirdly calming atmosphere, and Phil's mostly just thinking how lucky he was to get one of the more inexperienced ones. Most 'givers', 'servicers' or whatever you want to call them are hardened, and it's rare to see someone enter the industry completely willing. Dan's a gem, but then again, Phil's always known that.

And with that realization, Phil tenses, and bites down. Luckily, Dan pulled out his finger in time, and barely avoided getting grazed by one of Phil's sharp fangs. Barely.

And after that, they fret a bit, cuddle a bit, and become so tired they decide to just sleep together on the sofa. Phil snags a pillow from the floor, but when he comes back up with a huff, he sees Dan frozen. "Dan?" He questions softly. Dan hesitates, looking briefly at Phil. His hands still on the Pokémon blanket, he looks unsure for a split second, then turns towards Phil.

Dan swoops up, and kisses his cheek softly.


	6. Tribute to the Fallen Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still kinda shit but with more creativity

Phil's doing the staring thing again. Dan sighs. "Stop it," he mutters, typing in a couple words in the search tab. His eyes flicker over the screen, searching for whatever. Phil smiles gently.

"I'm not doing anything," he points out. "I'm perfectly innocent."

Inwardly, Dan sighs -- of course. It was a nice, peaceful Saturday evening, so why _wouldn't_ he come out? He's gone and pulled the pretty face Dan always recognizes, the one that makes his ring finger feel heavy and awkward. He's got the teasing lilt in his voice that's strictly for _annoying him_ , goddamnit, but he's not going to play Phil's games tonight.

Dan doesn't even turn to look at him, but his brows pull together in an absentminded frown. "No you're not," he bounces back. "If you were a sheep, you'd be the color of your hair-" he sniffs "-dye."

Phil smiles again, oh-so-gently. "We're engaged, missus marble," he says. "Don't you love me?"

Dan snorts, rapidly scrolling down the page he's on. "I didn't marry you, Michael," he says, tearing his eyes away from the screen and spinning around in the office chair. "We're not even close. I agreed to marry Phil someday, not you." He stares at Phil challengingly.

Phil's not agitated in the slightest. He huffs a bit, and sits back on the couch. His arms come up to cross in front of his chest, and he keeps up the small stretch of his lips. "You married a person with DID, Dan. Hardly one of your best decisions. It seems awfully like how you wanted to study law, was it? That didn't-"

"We're not married," Dan snaps. "We will be," Phil snaps back. Dan sighs. "Just know that if you decide to surface that day, I will postpone the wedding."

Phil scoffs. "You can't postpone a _wedding_ , for god's sake."

The younger boy smiles kindly. "I'm sure Phil would be happy to."

Phil sighs. Phil huffs. Phil gets hissy and flustered. There's not much he can say to that, with how Phil's - the main one, the real one - control over his alters has gotten better since his weekly meetings with his therapist. So Phil's bitter.

Dan sighs. Dan huffs. Dan gets sad and bothered. He doesn't like Michael, and no matter how positive he tries to be about it - because he _knows_ Phil's trying, he sees it in the bags under his eyes, the sheer _desperation_ when Dan brings it up, - he sometimes wished he'd never said yes.

They would have been _fine_ as friends, far better than they were now, but alas -- they both wanted something more, and with them both becoming more active in the YouTube community, it was stressful as _heck_. Dan didn't know what he would do if he got any more attention online - outwardly, he snorted. Yeah, _right_. Like his stage fright would ever let him get that far.

"What are you laughing about?"

Phil honestly - and surprisingly - sounded hurt. He was leaning forwards again, elbows on knees, with his scrutinizing stare drilling a hole through Dan. He tore his brown eyes away from where they'd been staring out into nothing, and looked at the older man.

All the anger from before had dissipated, leaving him hurt and confused, and his eyes...clear. Dan almost choked on his tongue. "Phil! You're back!"

Phil frowned easily. "I was here all along, Dan." His frown deepened severely. "Did Michael bother you?" Dan shook his head. "Nah." He was honestly just happy to have him back, even if their engagement was a bit complicated.

Phil glanced briefly at the time. "Oh, shit, and it's a quarter to midnight." He patted down his pockets, looking for his phone. "I can't believe we forgot!"

Dan giggled. "Speak for yourself. I didn't forget!"

Phil stood up, rolling his eyes, and gave Dan a quick hug, leaning down so he could hug the younger with him still sitting. "D'you wanna take a quick picture or something, or just fuck it?" Dan mock-gasped at the profanity.

"Well, I never!" After some dramatics and giggling, he answered. "Nah," he said. "Let's just fuck it." Phil nodded. "Fuck-it it is."

And so, at the stroke of midnight, they were both hoping for the same thing -- that their relationship would last throughout 2012.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also i'll totally change the chapter title since it's satan's sweet juices but not until i come up with something better


	7. The Beginning of Aurora, pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey you you if you're following this you should be fucking happy two chapters in one day bitch

The 30th of January dawned bright and chilly, and Dan was grumpy. He was grumpy because he hadn't slept, and because he wasn't allowed any coffee.

"Not even the tiniest sip," Phil had said, typing away on his laptop. "Caffeine makes you taste horrible, you know. Way too sharp."

As if Dan knew what _that_ meant -- blood tasted the same for him, but he could make a pretty good guess on it being different for Phil. To Dan, blood tasted like it did to every other human - metallic. Then again, Phil wasn't exactly human.

It had been a week since they moved in together, and it was time. _Oh god, that sounds ominous_ , Dan thought, looking around their kitchen. Phil had canceled his contract with his previous supplier - Melissa, Tiffany, whatever her name was, - and if he went more than a week without, he became harsh and jittery. It was like watching an addict slowly spiraling into madness without his drugs, only a _bit_ better.

Phil was surprisingly good with his control. He wasn't anything extraordinary -- he was still the average vampire, with a human lifespan and a thirst for blood. He wasn't invincible, or anything like that. Phil was very clumsy, Dan had to admit. Thankfully, he hadn't lost any significant amount of blood yet.

Like any other vampire, eating human food in general helped him suppress his hunger. He'd never had a problem with throwing blood tantrums -- in fact, his mum took him to the hospital a lot when he was young, because she was worried he wasn't taking enough. It wasn't a family thing, either -- his father had no idea why. Martyn craved blood normally, if not a bit below the average need.

Full-blooded - _they just loved that term_ , _didn't they_ \- vampires could sneer and mock and spit all they wanted at half-blooded vampires like Phil, but it seemed he had the advantage. Every week there was another front-page story about _another_ full-blooded vampire having gone on a rampage after missing his daily dose of blood. The more you were used to, the weaker your control was.

Dan could see why his mother was worried, personally. Vampires had enough going on to be outcasts, yet weren't, and only because everyone else was too afraid to label them as that. He just didn't see why his mother was pulling herself sideways about it. Before, when they were just long-distance friends, his mother had been fine with it, just a bit reluctant. Now she was going crazy and screaming bloody murder over it.

Dan had gotten countless calls from worried family members, all with the same message -- _Why, dearie, I heard from your mother you were going into the whole vampire business! That's a bit dangerous, isn't it? You should be careful with -_ oh, and the word Dan hates so much _\- crigs, especially young ones like these. Think of your career, Daniel - what law firm will want a wigger?_

Because while no one dared speak of rebelling against the creatures who had us so nicely slotted in the palm of their hand, words behind a locked door was something different.

The world was going through a crisis, of sorts -- the more blood a vampire consumes, the more other-worldly and powerful it is. Only problem was that almost no willing blood-supplier existed. There was Dan, of course, but he was Phil's - and here's the difference, - and Phil's only.

Once you got higher up in the so-said ranks, to the people who got paid and took on ten different vamps a week, with a strict diet and their local hospital's record for most blood-transfusions -- that's when it got serious. There were only about twenty of those in the entire world, and due to human anatomy, they each had to rest between each feeding.

Don't even get _started_ on blood donors -- they earned heavy stuff, too, and were carefully handpicked from a group of the finest blood-types in the world. Phil said something about the general preference being type O, since it adapted so nicely to the blood-supplier's body.

You could just drink blood from a bag, but richer vampires wanted it fresh from a living human, juicy and warm. It was luxury at its finest.

But even with the upcoming crisis, neither race dared do anything. There was the occasional rebels, but those were groups of ten or less. Anyone sane knew it was best to do nothing for now. And all because of the royal family.

King Jonathan the third and Queen Alexandra of everything-née-Russia had a complicated relationship. They were not the only royal family, but they were the only one that mattered. They weren't even a family at best, since King Jonathan's family apparently had great trouble with a full-blooded vampire siring a half-blooded child.

Queen Alexandra was human, you see. And that changed everything. King Jonathan had no intention whatsoever of betraying his beloved, nor had the Queen. They ruled together, and together only. They were childless as of now, but still stood strong. King and Queen were of course married, and they both loved each other far too much to overthrow the other race.

So everything stood still. The crisis kept coming strong, gaining speed by the minute, with no one hindering it. And that, as Dan was about to figure out, changed everything.

Five men in black suits burst into the living room in an organized chaos, startling Dan from where he was sitting in his boxers and a half-unbuttoned shirt. "What the-" Dan exclaimed, struggling in the sudden hold that was around his arms and shoulders. Someone even blocked his legs, somehow. He snarled through the gag being put on him, ducking the blindfold coming at him. The men paused, if only for the slightest second, as if to figure out why he was so angry. Like he wouldn't be, being kidnapped from his own home.

"Hold on!" he said, trying to rip his arms from where they were being crossed behind his back against his will. The men, who looked suspiciously like they were from the set of a spy or a drug-trade movie, all ignored him. He spat out the gag when it was pushed insistently back into his mouth. "Wha- You can't-"

The blindfold came at him again, and he was beginning to suspect they were vampires who had taken a great advantage of his humanity, with how strong and heavy the hands encircling his upper arms were. They must have been pumped full with blood, marching around the apartment like they owned it. The three men restraining him kept ignoring him, while two men strode out of the room, heading towards Phil's room.

Dan was confused. Why would they use less men on a vampire than a human? Did they somehow know Phil hadn't fed yet? Apparently not, because when Dan managed to spit out his statement, they all froze. "You-" he shouted, "You can't interrupt a feeding session!"

Which seemed to be the perfect time for them to freeze, as Phil strode into the room, looking furious and calm, both at the same time. The two missing agents followed him, looking too laid-back and calm about what was happening. He nearly tore their heads off trying to get to Dan, and it was only when he had his arms safely around what could arguably be called his _property_ he looked at the men.

"Well?" he demanded, staring expectantly at them. "You interrupted what was about to be a feeding, that is punishable by law-" "Please read the card, Mr. Lester," one of the agents interrupted. Phil frowned. "What bloody-" One of the agents reached inside his suit jacket and brought out a posh-looking white envelope, sealed with a gold wax seal.

This didn't seem to put off Phil, however, as he snatched the card out of the agent's hand, and was about to tear it open when his eyes caught on the golden seal. Dan gasped. "Th- That's-"

"That's the Royal seal," Phil finished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhahahhahahahhahah


	8. A/N

This is like basically abandoned by now whoops

But seriously though I'm kinda falling out of the phandom rn and I'm not gonna be active here to save my life but would anyone be interested in a last chapter just as a goodbye?

(I know for a fact this has at least one person that liked this enough to subscribe, and over 20 kudos, so...)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jfc nevermind its 35 
> 
> really
> 
> like this wasn't even that good
> 
>  
> 
> EDIT AGAIN what the fucK 6 subs really 
> 
> reALLY


	9. !!!

quick update as I know you probably won't be following The Blog and therefore would miss this announcement--

I'm working on it!! Yay!

I have ups and downs in inspiration _(ironically enough, for those of you who get that snazzy little reference)_ so I had quite a bit of trouble even coming up with a prompt for this one, but due to my ability to make myself cry by singing sadified covers of happy songs, we're off to.. a start!

I hope I'll be able to finish it soon, _yes, thank you, thank you, ladies and gentlemen_

**THIS MESSAGE WILL NOW BE TERMINATED**

fzzt.


	10. DONT GET EXCITED A/N

43 ugh that makes me so sad I ran out of inspo for this 

((still working on it but as you may know I'm wreaking havoc on my blog rn))

((After the last chapter is up this work will be marked as finished))


End file.
